ART: Computer Simulator v2.8409 w/ the Box Logic Operating System
This is a project I created for the Summit Art Space's ”Out-of-the-Box” Show (http://www.summitartspace.org). It was on exhibit in the main gallery from Oct. 27 - Nov 7, 2009. The CompSim was then auctioned off a week later at the Arts Alive! Awards with all proceeds going to the Akron Art Alliance which helps promote the value of a strong, diverse and vibrant arts and culture community for Greater Akron.
The CompSim is the most realistic computer simulator ever made out of shoe boxes and miscellaneous items found at thrift/dollar stores. Use the Quick Start Guide to quickly learn how to program and debug the system or play with some of the many features that the CompSim comes preloaded with.
See the manual content below for full information.
What I've done
Computer Simulator v2.8409 utilizing the new Box Logic Operating System
Welcome to the Computer Simulator v2.8409* utilizing the new breakthrough Box Logic Operating System developed by the MicroAppleSoft Corporation (all rights reserved).
Due to recent advances in technology, the CompSim is by far the easiest, most reliable, most efficient, most usable, most realistic, and fastest computer simulator made out of shoe boxes and miscellaneous items found at thrift and dollar stores.
QUICK START GUIDE
If you are like most people, you do not want to read through the pages and pages of ho-hum boring technical User's Manuals. Let's skip that for later and get right into using the CompSim.
STEP 1 - Input Marble Retrieval
Open the CONTENT flap on the bottom Storage Unit Box. Here you will find approximately 100 Input Marbles. Grab one of them from the box.
STEP 2 - Input the Input Marble into the "Input Here"
Take the Input Marble and place it through the hole on the top block of the CompSim labeled "Input Here".
STEP 3 - Watch The Magic
Watch the Input Marble as it winds it's way through the Box Logic Operating System. If all goes well, the marble will end up right back in the bottom box where it came from.
STEP 4 - Debugging
Sooner or later the system is going to CRASH!!! Just when you think everything is going well and running smoothly, the Input Marble will get stuck in one of the tracks or in one of the boxes for no apparent reason, leaving you with a sense of bitter frustration mixed with confusion and raging anger. You will now have to figure out how to DEBUG the programming and get it up and working properly again.
Try figuring out how to DEBUG the system without tearing the damn thing apart. Here are a few hints:
- Roll another Input Marble through. It may dislodge the stuck Marble.
- Try poking the stuck Input Marble with your finger or another suitable poking-sized item, tool, or instrument.
- Pray for divine intervention.
- Pay a Certified CompSim Repairman $125 bucks an hour to fix it.
- Throw the CompSim through the nearest window and go watch T.V.
The CompSim comes packaged with a hand-crafted Bill Gates Road Ahead CD-Rom Analog Time Measurement Display (1996 edition). There is no alarm, the hours are wrong, it doesn't chime on the hour, there is no day/date/year functionality, and it does not tell you if it is the morning or the evening -- but it DOES move forward at least.
Isn't it a pain when your computer overheats and suddenly bursts into flames. Well worry no more with the CompSim Cooling Fan System. Merely flip the switch and let the cooling begin. With the cheap flexible fan blades, there is no chance of accidentally chopping fingers off. You may be asking why the fan is not pointing at the CompSim and is pointing towards the User instead. That is a good question. We will make sure to bring this to the attention of engineers here at MicroAppleSoft and will deal with this minor design flaw in future production runs.
LED DISPLAY MONITOR
Though not actually a "monitor" the CompSim DOES have an LED Display with a whopping 3 PXL* Resolution located on the top box. The Display has a full 360° Viewing Angle and 16.7 Million Colors (give or take 16,699,999 colors). It can also be used as a handy light by merely pressing down on the top. Press down again to turn it off. Make sure you don't push too hard or you will smash the box. To change the batteries, just turn it counterclockwise.
The rest of this User's Manual can be used as a Notepad. You can Copy something on a copying machine and Paste it into the Notepad using tape or glue. You can also Add text with a pencil and Edit text with an eraser. It is the ultimate in Word Processing.
Don't tell anybody, but you KNOW you want to use your CompSim to Pirate things. Wait until no one is looking and access the top Storage Box (see STORAGE section). In the box, you will find the Sea Battle Mini Pirate Simulator Game. Put on yer eyepatch and get out the parrot, 'cause it's time to become a Pirate. ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!
RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR
The CompSim contains a Random Number Generating System (aka A Bunch Of Dice) that is specifically designed to generate a sequence of numbers in a rather random fashion. Unfortunately they are currently non-functioning and are stuck on the numbers 1, 5, 4, 6, 2, and 4 for some strange reason.
The CompSim comes protected with an Official Dudley Virus Protection and Spam Blocker Security System which looks oddly like a Combination Lock. To bypass the security, just make sure your secret code is dialed in at the bottom and press the side button to pop it open. This will stop any unhealthy pre-cooked meat-eating hackers from putting unwanted things in your box or stealing all the goodies you have inside. The starting combination is 0-0-0.
You CAN'T have a computer simulator without having a COMPUTER GAME SIMULATOR. Use the Deck of Cards to play a lonely game of Solitaire while your boss isn't looking. Sadly, the cards have been super-glued to the CompSim. I guess you'll have to play the slightly less exciting "Let's stare at the deck of cards game" which isn't quite as much fun.
STORAGE UNITS (2)
I'm not sure how may gigabytes or terrabytes the boxes can contain, but I'm sure it is quite a bit. The CompSim has 2 Storage Units. The top box can be opened and used for storage. You must open the Official Dudley Virus Protection and Spam Blocker Security System first (see the SECURITY section) and then gently take the top off. The bottom box can be opened at the CONTENT flap. Just make sure not to block the Input Marble entrance.
STREAMING MEDIA PLAYER
The CompSim comes equipped with the official MicroAppleSoft Streaming Media Player. The Player is jam-packed with only the newest and greatest technology to get you up and jammin'. The unit comes equipped with electronic tuning and autoscan, the ability to receive FM stations, high quality sound, and even tiny little speakers to put in your ears (what will they think of next).